College Humor gays threaten to marry girlfriends of straight guys in video

'We'll go the gym with her and then after, we'll get Pinkberry as a reward'

College Humor gays threaten to marry girlfriends of straight guys in video
14 November 2012

A cocky group of gay guys have taken a unique approach in fighting for marriage equality in a new video made by the website College Humor.

Even though voters in Maine, Maryland and Washington approved gay marriage last week bringing the number of US states with marriage equality to nine plus the District of Columbia, that leaves 41 states without it.

These determined gays are targeting straight men for their support by making a unique threat: they will steal their girlfriend.

‘Fine, keep marriage between a man and a woman. And in response, we will marry your girlfriends,’ they say. ‘We’d be the best husbands EVER.’

Then they make their case.

‘Have you seen us? We are ripped. All of us are ripped. It doesn’t seem statistically possible and yet it’s true. Because we love going to the gym. And do you know who else loves going to the gym? Your girlfriend. We’ll go the gym with her and then after, we’ll get Pinkberry as a reward.’

In addition to ruling at the gym, they brag that they also rule in the kitchen.

‘What do you make your girlfriend for breakfast? Burnt scrambled eggs? We will make her a quiche with a side of hummus made from scratch. Do you even know the difference between hummus and Baba ghanoush?’

Then there are these advantages:

  • ‘You don’t want to go dancing? We TEACH a dance class.’
  • ‘Not in the mood to go to that Broadway show? We are. We’re IN IT.’
  • ‘We could listen to your girlfriend for hours just reassuring her that she’s not the crazy one.’

As for sex?

‘The kind of threesome SHE wants? We’re cool with that.’

They close with this message: ‘Remember, we’re doing you a huge solid by being more attracted to each other than to your girlfriend. But, if you stay close-minded about this, we will take one for the team.’

Okay straight guys, consider yourselves warned.

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