Announcement of new Star Wars sequels has GSN searching a galaxy far, far away for a glimmer of LGBT pride
So far the ‘force’ has not been with Star Wars fans after hearing the surprise news that Disney plans to make three new sequels to the iconic space saga.
George Lucas’s last prequel Revenge of the Sith seemed to kill off whatever enthusiasm was left for the much-loved franchise and the prospect of another tedious swish of the light saber makes you want to turn to the dark side.
However, it may not be all bad news. After all, with Lucas Arts now in the hands of Mickey Mouse and co, the big boss is highly unlikely to have much input into the new films.
That means whoever takes the helm of the Millennium Falcon next could be free to steer it in a fresh direction, opening up the possibly of introducing some much needed gayness to the galaxy far, far away.
While Luke Skywalker’s coming out story is unlikely, the inclusion of an LGBT Ewok or two is not beyond the realms of possibility.
Besides, there’s enough material in the originals to get your gaydar blinking on red alert.
GSN reads between the lines to dig out Star Wars’ gayest moments:
The droid duo’s romance was surely written in the stars. From the moment their LED eye sockets first met on dusty Tatooine in The Phantom Menace, you knew it was the beginning of a beautiful bromance. Threepio is WALL-E to R2’s EVE and when the cameras weren’t rolling, you can bet your rusty plug socket there was a sand dune with their name on it.
For a lowly protocol droid, Threepio is pretty damn fabulous. From his bling gold suit to his camp intonation, the robot is fierce with a capital ‘F’. Even with his dismembered torso strapped to the back of a Wookie in Empire Strikes Back he pulls off huffy diva better than most drag queens.
Beauty and the Beast meets Howard the Duck, never has there been a homoerotic bestiality love affair so hot and yet, so wrong. From cuddles to tears in Empire when Han looks on as Chewbacca is tortured by stormtroopers, love is in the air and it smells like Wookie. And who didn’t want to see hottie Harrison lock furry rubber lips with Chewie after Solo is defrosted from carbonite at the beginning of Return of the Jedi? Only Jabba knows the truth.
Loathed by Star Wars purists, but loved by kids who frankly don’t know better, this goofy alien from the planet Naboo is camper than a row of tents. Many people mistook his clumsiness in the prequels for a vain attempt at slapstick, but something tells me there was a Vogue shape in there somewhere. Nuff said.
Stylish, bright and phallic, the light saber is the gay weapon of choice. Only Harry Potter’s swish and flick wand manoeuvre is more suggestive. And doesn’t Luke look stunning in that sweeping black Jedi cowl with matching boots in Episode VI? The intergalactic fashion police approved.
She may have been as stiff as a board, but Natalie Portman’s turn as Darth Vadar’s squeeze made all the boys jealous with her flamboyant dress sense and drag queen make-up. ‘I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war,’ she bemoans in The Phantom Menace before mouthing Gloria Gaynor’s disco classic I Will Survive.
The films may not yet have introduced an LGBT character but the makers of the sci-fi fantasy’s games have. Star Wars: The Old Republic, a online role-playing game developed by Bioware, came under fire from Christian traditionalists for its plans to include a gay storyline. In January 2012 the developers announced they are launching a same-sex romance component to satisfy some complaints. So, is this a new hope or nothing more than a phantom menace? Disney, we wait with bated breath.
If you don’t believe me, watch the romance blossom in this fan-made YouTube video: