'I didn’t love the first 6-9 months. I didn’t feel like I was bonding with them'
In an interview with Oprah Winfrey to air Sunday (3 June) on OWN, Neil Patrick Harris admits that when twins Harper and Gideon were first born, it was his partner David Burtka who took the lead in the maternal department.
‘Yeah I didn’t love the first 6-9 months,’ Harris admits. ‘And I struggled with it a lot.’
When the twins, now 18 months, were first born and crying, Harris didn’t know what was wrong and was often unable to soothe them.
‘I know that [David’s] more maternal and is much more intuitive with that, so I would pass off and then like, fix the crib, or like, clean the dishes or, I’d do my work,’ he says. ‘I wouldn’t just vanish, but I would try to provide. I didn’t feel like I was bonding with them.’
But it is getting better and he feels the best bonding time is ahead.
‘I still feel like my strengths will come when it’s like, ‘Papa, let’s build a fort.’ And I love forts, let’s do that! But I need to know that they want to build a fort. … Tell me what’s wrong or have a conversation. I think that that’s where my strength’s will come and be more in the forefront.’
When Winfrey asked Harris if he and Burtka have plans for more kids, the actor made clear he feels they have their hands full.
Says Harris: ‘Oh don’t start with this conversation.’
A surrogate mother gave birth to the twins and Winfrey asked what the couple will tell the children when they get old enough to realize they have two daddies and no mommy.
‘We’re going to tell them information. I want them to have information,’ Harris said. ‘And I think the way that they were brought into this world was very unique and weirdly scientific and the technology involved in it I think is remarkable. But it came because we really, really wanted kids. Like we really had thought it through, financially, emotionally, relationship wise, like we didn’t just accidentally get pregnant and decide that now we need to make this work. These kids come into our world with nothing but love.’