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The 10 reasons why Mean Girls is too gay to function

The 10 reasons why Mean Girls is too gay to function

Mean Girls is too gay to function.

Sorry, it was almost a requirement to start with that.

A Heathers for the millennials generation, the Tina Fey written film has thrilled millions with its witty dialogue, memorable characters and the message of being yourself.

For those who haven’t seen it, a pre-troubles Lindsay Lohan is a new girl in high school. Her new outsider friends talk her into infiltrating the popular group. But in seeking to destroy the ‘Plastics’, she becomes everything she hates, a ‘Mean Girl’ herself.

But what some may not realize is that it is one of the gayest films ever made.

1 Cady’s journey

Cady, played by Lohan, is an outsider trying to fit in, and by doing so loses her own identity.

On Wednesdays, she’s told, she has to wear pink. But as she doesn’t own anything pink, she has to borrow from her new friend Damian (we’ll get to him later). The sight of her in an extra large pink polo shirt is the uncomfortable attempt to be ‘normal’ in the eyes of the popular crowd.

There’s plenty of parallels with the closet. Many gay guys and girls have tried their hardest to fit into the stereotypical gender roles for the sake of social acceptance.

It is only when Cady is forced to come to terms with her identity, in this case with her interest in math, that she can ‘come out’ and be who she is.

2 World of high school

It’s a jungle out there. You have to fit into a particular ‘type’, everyone is catty, and you have to manipulate to get ahead.

Sounds familiar? The gay scene is high school.

The film is incredibly popular with the LGBTI community, and specifically gay men, for many reasons. But partly that. A recent film GBF parodied a lot of the most iconic Mean Girls moments.

Others have created gay versions of the Mean Girls trailer, like Todrick Hall.

3 The shade of it all

Back in 2004, the world was a darker place. The mainstream didn’t have RuPaul’s Drag Race or anything else to tell us how to insult each other.

But when Mean Girls came along, and evil arrived in the shape of Regina George, the world had a new tutor.

4 The Plastics are drag queens

While most people have been personally victimized by Regina George, it doesn’t mean they are that hurtful.

The ‘meanness’ in the film isn’t going to ruin anyone’s lives in the long run, and this means the three Plastics are kept likeable and funny throughout.

With their witty one-liners, they have a similar humor and sensibility as drag queens do. They have a sweetness that keeps them human, but touch their god damned hair (that’s full of secrets) and you are going to hear an earful.

5 Quotes

Getting away from the metaphors for a second, this is just one funny, well-written movie.

And if you haven’t noticed, plenty of stars from Mariah Carey to Jennifer Lawrence quote it endlessly.

While it’s no surprise the LGBTI community likes a good one-liner, Mean Girls has more of them than most.

Here’s a list, just because:

  • ‘And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.’
  • ‘Get in loser. We’re going shopping.’
  • ‘Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.’
  • ‘It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.’
  • ‘’Cause she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.’
  • ‘Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!’
  • ‘Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!’
  • ‘Four for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco!’
  • Karen: ‘*cough* I’m sick.’ Regina: ‘Boo, you whore!’
  • ‘She doesn’t even go here!’

6 Casual homophobia

Watch this scene:

In this scene, Cady is told by her teacher Ms Norbury that she is failing, and knows she’s only trying to appear dumb to attract a boy. She then takes out her frustration and accuses her teacher of pushing drugs onto students in the ‘burn book’.

So when does Cady go too far and become a ‘mean girl’? When she writes in the burn book?

It actually comes earlier, when she says: ‘She’s totally failing me on purpose because I didn’t join the stupid mathletes. She’s so queer.’

The first nice people Cady meets are Damian and Janis, who are queer or at least perceived as queer. These were her friends, and now she’s using the word ‘queer’ in a derogatory way.

By trying to fit in with the popular crowd, Cady starts using casual homophobic language. Earlier in the film, when she first encounters the burn book, she sees the Plastics have described her friend Janis as a ‘dyke’.

While the characters do not appear to have a deep hatred for gay people, they’re just ignorant. And that’s what most ‘anti-gay’ teens are.

They’re portrayed as people who just prefer feeling superior to others, and the homophobia is a part of that.

This environment, so common in high schools, is what makes it so difficult for others to come out.

7 Damian

Damian is unnecessary. Played by Daniel Franzese, the character is a fun, comic character, but doesn’t have much to do to move the movie forwards.

That’s what makes him so interesting. Normally, ‘gay’ characters are either the main focus in Hollywood films or are there to demonstrate an issue or problem. As some critics lhave pointed out, Damian and Janis could have been one character and not much would have changed.

But what Damian has is plenty of the best lines (‘Danny Devito I love your work!’).

You could call him a stereotype, with his interest in fashion, choir etc. He’s attempting to figure out his identity and who he is. He’s not ‘out’ yet, it might take him 10 years, but he’s on a journey of his own.

Much like Franzese, who recently came out as gay himself.

8 Jonathan Bennett

Heavily rumored and even reported as fact, Jonathan Bennett, who plays Aaron Samuels, is alleged to be gay and has dated openly gay actor Kyle XY’s Matt Dallas.

While we can’t say it’s true or not, it’s pretty amazing the love interest in one of the biggest teen comedies of all time could be gay. Of course, it is up to him whether he says he’s gay or straight or not.

Worth noting though he is also friends with Lance Bass and Kathy Griffin, so he’s clearly pro-gay at least. And looks sexy with his hair pushed back.

9 Lindsay has dated a girl

It may seem so long ago now, but Lindsay Lohan dated DJ Samantha Ronson for years in the mid-00s.

While the relationship may have been tumultuous, the star still looks back on it fondly.

In a recent interview with Piers Morgan, Lindsay said she still ‘loved’ her as a person.

However, she said she was not bisexual.

‘I know I’m straight. I have made out with girls before, and I had a relationship with a girl,’ she said.

‘But I think I needed to experience that and I think I was looking for something different.’

10 The message of Mean Girls

At the end of the film, Cady is elected Prom Queen and in doing so redeems herself.

She recognizes the high school games and bitchery have to end, and decides to share the crown. She breaks the plastic tiara into pieces and gives them out, so that everyone can be equal. And everyone can be a ‘queen’.

The message of Mean Girls is one that has been said a million times before: Be yourself.

And if you don’t? You might get hit by a bus. Just kidding.