David Hudson is the Deputy Editor of Gay Star News,…
With advances in anti-retroviral treatment, many people diagnosed with HIV today will live lives just as long as those who don’t have the virus.
In some cases, perhaps even longer because they have regular check-ups that can identify health problems early.
Although great stigma persists, ‘AIDS’ as a word has fallen from our language in favor of ‘HIV-related illness’ or ‘complications relating to HIV’.
However, it hasn’t always been this way.
As the years advance, it can be all too easy to forget the many thousands of people who have been killed by HIV.
An Instagram profile looking to honor the memory of generations of people lost to the virus is The AIDS Memorial (@theaidsmemorial).
The idea is both simple and beautiful: Images of people, both famous and non-famous, lost to AIDS, with a few lines about their lives and story.
Many of them are heartbreaking. This week it carried the story of partners Ross Laycock and Felix Gonzalez Torres.
Laycock died of AIDS in 1991. In his memory, artist boyfriend Torres made an installation work – a giant, 175-lbs pile of candy in a gallery. Visitors were invited to help themselves to a piece of candy, ‘the diminishing amount parallels Ross’s weight loss and suffering prior to his death.’
Torres himself went on to die from AIDS also in 1996.
‘His parents accused me of killing their son’
Then there’s this submission by Anthony Tucker: ‘This was my partner Mark and I at my grandparents house. We use to go down there every weekend, he really enjoyed them as much as they did him.
‘This picture was taken in 1988 in May a month before we moved to #SanFrancisco. I lost him to #AIDS in 1990. This is all I left of him. Before we had any legal rights or married to him the nurse’s use to sneek me into #DaviesMedicalCenter to be with him.
‘I lost him on Nov 7th 1990 at 2:35 am, he was in my arms. His parents, who had been estranged from for many yrs came down from #Washington and took everything and accused me of killing their son.’
A photo posted by The AIDS Memorial (@the_aids_memorial) on
The profile was launched last March by Stuart, a 42-year-old in Scotland. He doesn’t want to reveal his whole name, telling GSN, ‘I’d rather just stay anonymous to be honest, because I would like focus on the aim of Instagram page and the people it features.’
‘The history of the AIDS epidemic is so interesting to me. History fascinates me: gay history and the emergence of AIDS in the 1980S and those who died and seemed in my opinion to have been forgotten.
‘No one seemed in my opinion to speak about all those who had passed. Older people didn’t want to be reminded as it was enough to live through it, and the younger generation didn’t want to know about it. Period! Or so I thought.
‘The Instagram page has proved me wrong which is marvelous. I thought Instagram was a perfect way to document the lives of those who had died. I just want more people to hear the stories and remember.’
At first, he highlighted people in the public eye. Recent well-known names to feature include David Cole of C&C Music Factory, Tina Chow and singer Klaus Nomi.
A photo posted by The AIDS Memorial (@the_aids_memorial) on
Also included are campaigners and those driven to activism by the emergence of the new epidemic. Others decided to take their destiny into their own hands rather than face the inevitable wasting away that AIDS caused before effective treatment became available.
A post shared by THE A I D S M E M O R I A L (@the_aids_memorial) on
The profile demonstrates that, as a virus, HIV doesn’t discriminate – but inevitably, many young men – many gay – feature among the roll call of names.
A photo posted by The AIDS Memorial (@the_aids_memorial) on
‘It wasn’t my intention to have a mass following on Instagram,’ says Stuart. ‘It’s not like following Kim Kardashian or any of the Jenners. The AIDS Memorial is not fluffy!
‘I understand it is not the easiest subject matter to follow daily. So it was a lovely surprise to see the followers steadily grow. The AIDS Memorial gives comfort to those that have experienced loss or have faced struggle when the chips have been down.
‘The positive feedback that I receive almost every day is so touching, uplifting and gratifying.’
‘People from all walks of life that never got the opportunity to realise their potential’
It’s actually hard to read more than a few entries at a time. The emotions become overwhelming.
Does Stuart find it sometimes emotionally challenging?
‘The feed started off with tributes to people in the public eye: information gleaned from the internet about people or issues that interested me.
‘Gradually people made contact with me telling me their personal stories about their loved ones and their history: from lovers, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters nephews, nieces, lovers and friends etc. That’s when it really hit home. People from all walks of life that never got the opportunity to realise their potential.
‘Discovering each story is very emotional. I have cried reading them but I have laughed out loud too because through all the darkness, people share memories of the happier times – there is light.
‘However, The AIDS Memorial page is like a graveyard. It’s never going to be an easy visit but these people are heroes, and there isn’t enough said about them. Period.’
Some people may not want a daily reminded of death on their Instagram feed, but at the same time, it’s a reminder of how precious life is. And of the huge holes that these people left in the lives of others.
They were loved. They are still missed. And they are not forgotten.