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Davey Wavey: ‘Watching porn makes gay men bad at sex’

EXCLUSIVE: The gay YouTuber explains why he is creating the gay porn he wants, that gay and bi men deserve

Davey Wavey: ‘Watching porn makes gay men bad at sex’
Davey Wavey is at the helm of his own, new gay porn site | Photo: Himeros.tv

Gay YouTuber Davey Wavey thinks the porn you’re watching is not good enough.

In fact, he thinks its depicting such ‘bad’ sex – it is affecting the way we’re all doing it.

‘The majority of gay porn demonstrates bad gay sex,’ he tells Gay Star News. ‘But sadly, bad sex is the only kind of sex that most gay men know. In that way, I’d say that gay porn does reflect gay sex. Or, more accurately, gay sex reflects gay porn.’

He argues that because we don’t, or in some places can’t, learn about gay sex from our parents or in school we are all left at a disadvantage.

Speaking to us as he launches his new porn site Himeros.tv, he shares with Gay Star News not only a look at the videos but why gay and bi men deserve better porn.

The movies explore the emotions of sexual fantasies too | Photo: Himeros.tv

The movies explore the emotions of sexual fantasies too | Photo: Himeros.tv

Growing up, Davey Wavey acted like a pornstar in bed

Like many young gay teenagers, Davey watched gay porn growing up. But, this led him to copy what was happening on screen.

He even got compliments on copying that behavior – or at least he thought they were:

‘I thought that fucking someone hard was the same thing as fucking someone good – because that’s what I saw in porn.

‘When I was in college, I had a boyfriend tell me that having sex with me was like being in a porn. And to his surprise, I was flattered. Of course, he wasn’t complimenting me – and it took my years to understand what he really meant.’

It took years for Davey to realise being told he was like a porn star, was no compliment | Photo: Himeros.tv

It took years for Davey to realise being told he was like a porn star, was no compliment | Photo: Himeros.tv

‘Porn is letting us down’

When young LGBTI people watch porn, they often do so because they can’t get sex education anywhere else.

‘As gay people, we don’t learn about gay sex from our parents, and we certainly don’t learn about it in school. The reality is, the sex we have is generally a less-than-fulfilling combination of trial and error and what we see in the porn we watch.’

So what happens when sex in porn videos, doesn’t reflect what real sexual experiences are like?

‘I love gay porn as much as the next person, and I love getting off. But it’s important to understand the limitations.

‘Most gay porn isn’t designed to help you connect with your desires. There is no room to explore your sexuality or get in touch with pleasure and demonstrate authentic intimacy.’

And just like Davey’s own personal experience, he thinks this is changing the way gay and bi men are having sex.

Davey says young LGBTI people are being let down by porn | Photo: Himeros.tv

Davey says young LGBTI people are being let down by porn | Photo: Himeros.tv

People want to see emotions in porn

A Gay Star News poll showed two-thirds of people say emotions are the most important part of sex. And yet, emotions are barely reflected in most porn.

So why don’t more porn studios give us this? 

‘Porn doesn’t show things like communication, exploration, authenticity, and so on because all of these things take time and effort – and therefore cost money.

‘If the goal of porn is to get someone off, these other things are unimportant. You don’t need to show an authentic connection between two men who are truly turned on by each other to film something arousing that makes men cum.

‘Most studios don’t want to hurt their bottom line – and unless audiences demand something different, you can expect to see more of the same.’

How important are emotions to you in sex? | Photo: Himeros.tv

How important are emotions to you in sex? | Photo: Himeros.tv

Even if it’s sucking a dick anonymously through a glory hole can be emotional’

Bringing sex and emotions together can seem alien to some people in the bedroom. For many, a hook up is an emotionless, raw experience. But Davey doesn’t think we should separate the two:

‘For a lot of people, emotional sex is another way of saying sex with a boyfriend or long-term partner. But I’d suggest that you can involve emotions – and true authentic connection – in any form of sex. Even if it’s sucking a dick anonymously through a glory hole.

‘You can blow a man anonymously and still connect with him, our community and even the entire world – in a way that truly celebrates your sexuality.

‘In fact, we filmed a video doing just that with Joey Mills and Blake Mitchell.’

Joey and Blake feature in a lot of the videos on the site | Photo: Himeros.tv

Adorable and sexy, Joey and Blake feature in a lot of the videos on the site | Photo: Himeros.tv

Changing porn for gay and bi men everywhere

Davey’s new website Himeros.tv is creating ‘more sensual and intimate porn.’

He describes his new site as ‘like porn, but better.’ But Wavey also says – his mum would still definitely describe it as porn.

But this new erotic playground for men who have sex with men is inspired by a mission for better sex.

Wavey is doing it because with so many learning about gay sex from the internet – he is very aware porn isn’t created to created to teach you about pleasure, connection or the power of your sexuality.

Wavey says his new porn videos have a deeper meaning – that add to the narrative of the sex.

Davey Wavey spying in on one of the shoot's | Photo: Himeros.tv

Davey Wavey spying in on one of the shoot’s | Photo: Himeros.tv

‘I feel like my hands have been tied on YouTube – and not in a good way.’

Speaking in his launch video he talks about how restrictive YouTube has been. He’s been using the platform for over 10 years but now says: ‘YouTube is restrictive, especially for gay content.’

So his new project is giving him a newfound creative freedom.

‘The mission of Himeros.tv is to enhance gay men’s experience of sex and sexuality through sexual exploration, connection, and ecstasy. It’s not just about getting you off. It’s about getting you in in touch with your desires with a totally different genre of erotica.’

And people are loving it.

‘The response has been overwhelming. In fact, I think our audiences are challenged by the content we create. It’s hot and sexy and beautifully filmed, but it’s not something most people have ever seen.’

Maybe this is the good way Davey was talking about? | Photo: Himeros.tv

Maybe this is the good way Davey was talking about? | Photo: Himeros.tv

What does Davey Waveys porn tell stories about?

‘Consent, for one. Communication is important. You must be able to express yourself to your partner and communicate about what you want – and what you don’t want.

‘Experiencing pleasure is important, and the healing power thereof. Exploration and curiosity are important.

‘Getting in touch with your desires and fantasies.

‘Experiencing sexual ecstasy. Surrender.

‘Good sex has all of these things and more.’

Another thing we want,?Oily men in Mexican luchador wrestling mask - Thanks Davey | Photo: Himeros.tv

Another thing we want from porn? Oily men in Mexican luchador wrestling mask – Davey’s got that handled too | Photo: Himeros.tv

More from Gay Star News:

Davey Wavey makes a case for respecting LGBTI elders

WATCH: Things you shouldn’t say to people in open relationship

 

 


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