The humble art of ejaculation is a key bodily function, and for some – spunking is a popular pastime.
Not just part of the magical procreation process, ejaculation provides the orgasmic relief many of us lust after.
However, there are myths aplenty about pineapples, why ants love a jizz rag and why one government literally tried to ban ejaculation.
So we’ve put together this guide with some crucial spunk facts.
You orgasm, before you cum
It’s all in your head.
Orgasms actually begin in the brain. Ejaculation is a reflex of the spinal cord in reaction.
This means for some men, the orgasm will actually hit even before the first ejaculation contraction. Men will then go on to have on average six to 10 of these muscle contractions which ejaculate the semen from the penis.
Women ejaculate too
It’s often referred to as ‘squirting,’ but the images that phrase conjures are usually based on mostly unrealistic porn.
As an ejaculation is literally the release of fluid, that’s what it feels and looks like, and it’s pleasurable. Unlike in the more extreme porn, there isn’t always a lot. Though, because of the myths around female ejaculation, Glamour report that many women’s biggest obstacle to ejaculating is ‘letting go – because women think it’s pee.’
Just like in men, the fluid comes from the Skene’s (or paraurethral) glands, sometimes reffered to as the female prostate gland. It is made up of 90% prostatic fluid, 10% glucose and a small amount of pee.
The UK tried to ban women ejaculating in porn
The new law introduces requirements for porn sites to verify the age of visitors in the UK.
But as it was debated there was a serious discussion about banning female ejaculation and menstrual fluids from porn.
It came as the UK government tried to bring British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) guidelines into porn. That would have banned fisting and spanking too. However, the ban was eventually rejected by the UK’s upper parliament, the House of Lords.
Outside of cumming, the new legislation also has rules about capping of mobile phone bills and bulk-buying tickets to curb ticket-touts. It could also see Internet Service Providers get big fines for not enforcing rules about porn.
The average amount of male spunk is half a teaspoon
Don’t borrow one of the office teaspoons to check at lunch though.
And of course, from study to study – the amount varies. But a highly cited Journal of Andrology suggests that the average volume is around 3.4ml.
Also worth taking into consideration, this is only an average. It depends on each person, your level of hydration and of course the last time you ejaculated.
What you eat does change the way cum tastes
You are what you eat, and you reap what you sow – sort of.
All of your bodily fluids including your spit, sweat and yes even vagina juices – can all be influenced by your diet.
But drinking a liter of pineapple juice before your next session is not going to make a difference.
If you really want to taste and smell more appealing, eating an overall healthier diet is key. Good food for robust sperm include oysters, chocolate, walnuts, asparagus, garlic, lean beef, and yes – bananas.
Your spunk is full of protein
Drink up gym bunnies.
Another thing penises have in common with bananas is the essential nutrients they can provide.
In a typical 3.4ml load, your spunk will have around 10 milligrams (mg) of sodium, 9mg of fructose and 0.2mg of protein.
That’s not forgetting those essential but often overlooked micro-nutrients like vitamin C, magnesium, phosphorus, B12, zinc, nitrogen, potassium, calcium, and chlorine.
And yes, just like women, men’s spunk also contains a little pee too. After all, they ultimately use the same tube.
And that’s why ants love it
Form an orderly queue.
Sugar ants will go after the fructose in your jizz rag, whereas grease ants are there for all your tasty proteins.
And if this is new to you, the internet has been fascinated with cum hungry ants for quite some time.
Here is just one Reddit forum where the matter is discussed at length. Or of course, you can enjoy this lad exploring his colony of ‘cum eating ants’ who are ‘all up in his sock eating what was a very good time last night’:
There is one main trigger point for ejaculation
Everybody find your frenulum.
Anatomically a frenulum is a small fold or ridge of tissue which supports or checks the motion of the part to which it is attached. In particular the same word is used to mean that fold of skin beneath your tongue, or between the lip and the gum.
For me and you – it’s the area under the head of the penis.
It is the one place most likely to inspire your load to explode because it’s the area with the most nerve endings.
Orgasms can relieve headaches
One natural painkiller
Because orgasms flood your brains with endorphins that are also powerful pain blockers.
Researchers in Germany published a study last year, where six in 10 patients having sex with a headache felt better after orgasm.
The researchers even go as far to say that endurance athletes, like marathon runners, will have a better chance of curing migraines with orgasms. This is because they will have trained their body to make the most out of their natural endorphins.
Some men believe by not ejaculating, they can get superpowers
There are thousands of men who believe not masturbating gives you superpowers.
Part of a Reddit community of NoFappers or ‘Fapstronauts’. the group has 200,000 subscribers. They say abstaining from watching porn, having sex, or masturbating can ‘seize control of your sexuality and turn it into superpowers.’
Then there is the man who gave up masturbation for 700 days says not pleasuring himself gave him ‘superpowers’.
In a heartfelt Reddit post, user Brohit reveals how he quit masturbation two and a half years ago and discovered his ‘fapstinence’ had given him unusual abilities.
If men improve their butthole muscles, they can spunk further
Everybody needs to know more about their butthole.
The same muscles you use to hold farts in are the same that help you spunk.
The kegels or pelvic floor muscles are found by trying to stop peeing midstream or just by tightening the muscles that keep you from passing gas. Just like any muscle, doing kegel exercises can make them stronger.
Top tip: if you want to improve your kegel muscles, you can’t use your buttocks, abs or thighs to help. So make sure you concentrate down on your pelvic muscles.
And remember. Don’t jizz in your pants
But do put The Lonely Island’s infamous song in your ears.
It’s had a staggering 166 million plays on YouTube.
But what you might not realize is the American comedy trio, formed by Akiva Schaffer, Andy Samberg, and Jorma Taccone first made their fame on Saturday Night Live.
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