Now Reading
A gay dad delivers his telling off to Dolce and Gabbana

A gay dad delivers his telling off to Dolce and Gabbana

I have never bought D&G. That is a shame, because now Dolce and Gabbana’s rancid attack on gay and lesbian families has sparked a boycott, I would dearly love to take part.

Their tirade on LGBTI parents read: ‘The only family is the traditional one. No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.’

Despite my frustration, I couldn’t withdraw my dollars from them. But I do write letters.

Dear Misters D&G,

As a parent, I resist the temptation to label on my sons. I don’t ever tell them they are ‘bad boys,’ but rather, they made ‘bad choices’. Likewise, I will refrain from calling you all the names that have come to mind since your poisonous interview.

I will call it a very bad choice on your part.

I am unclear as to why you chose to lash out so irrationally and arrogantly. Predictably you have issued a statement designed to mitigate loss of revenue (‘it was never our intention to judge other people’s choices’.). My son’s have a similar out: ‘But, Dad, I didn’t mean to…’

Except it’s not the first time you have declared opposition to same sex marriage, and gay parents.

Why make such a pronouncement at all?

Part of the genius of a gifted designer’s mind is to come out with the unexpected, the unpredictable. You could argue what is more unpredictable than homophobic diatribes from two of the most famous and wealthy gay men? Except internalized homophobia is predictable, and as boring as J Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn. You’ve gone retro.

I have often speculated why there seems to be so much creative talent per capital in the LGBTI population. It would be nice to think that increased talent was tied to whatever sexual orientation genes made us, but that seems unlikely. I believe it is not ‘nature’ but self-nurture. Many of us have, from an early age, a deep consciousness that life is not as structured as we had been told. That allows us to look at the world differently – giving rise to art, music, writing and more.

For you that creativity expressed itself in shapes, angles, fits and fabrics. For others, it is in love and parenting.

Heteronormativity cries out for a single process of fertilization, gestation and birth. Those of us, who have known that we have parenting talents despite what society says, have found ways of bringing our children into our lives outside of old conventions.

You should understand this. If we applied the same critique of you that you made to LGBTI parents, we would be advocating for corsets and codpieces.

Studies have implied the only endangered children brought into the world are ones who are not wanted. Children whose parents don’t really want to be parents. Your insults, however, were directed at parents who adore their children.

Your comments around traditional families ignore the millions of kids in fostercare and adoption. Your theory only male-female parental couples are good has failed these innocents. Who is stepping up to give them the love they deserve? Non-traditional LGBTI parents, that’s who.

My family is just one of thousands of LGBTI households that have saved millions of kids from devastation, neglect and death. LGBTI families are giving hope and real chance to children already born, and unique life to others.

I don’t expect you will understand this. To be fair, I don’t understand your world either. We don’t all need to be all things. Your creations are your designs, my creation is my family. My hope is we both choose to respect each other.

There is one thing that I do know about today’s fashion, however: Love is the new trend. Bigotry and homophobia are out this season. I don’t believe they will be in style again.

So if I was Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly right now, I would be pursing my lips and glaring. And you would be back to your drawing boards.