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This guy reveals what it’s like it to date as both gay and deaf

This guy reveals what it’s like it to date as both gay and deaf

‘You would be perfect, if it wasn’t for your hearing aids…’

I looked on a gape, at the Spanish guy outside the nightclub in Madrid.

He just did not say that.

‘So would you be if it wasn’t for your ignorance!’ I brushed past him, into the nightclub to party with my friends to forget about this awful brief encounter.

I could have laughed it off, muttering to myself that it’s his loss. He would never know of this kind-hearted and cheeky British travel blogger in his lifetime.

But tonight, it hurt. I felt tears stinging my eyes. My cheeks puffed up and I made a detour into the bathroom, thankfully quiet.

I stared in the mirror, judging my face. My boyish rugged looks had eyes holding proof of seeing a thousand beauties across the world. But it was missing something:

A sparkle of wanting to be loved and the yearning of loving another man.

Suddenly, my hearing aid bleeped to announce moisture in my ear mold. Taking it out, I looked at it. How can this small technological device, that has given back my hearing and made the person I am today, can also affect my dating life big time?

With a sigh, I cleaned up the ear mold and looked again in the mirror. This time, the red eyes were gone.

No, I am proud of my deafness and there isn’t an ignorant guy who couldn’t take it away from me. It’s definitely his loss.

There were crushes during my five years traveling- my heart pounding every time I saw my potential ‘Mr Ed’ walk into the room. Some were mutually felt, but if you’re out on the road, I would have to wave goodbye, my disappointment a whirlwind romance has puttered out.

So, surely LGBTI people across the globe doesn’t have an issue with deafness? I hope not. But when it comes down to it, I often get struck out.

Case in point, if I ever go into a party wearing my hearing aids, it’s very rarely that I would get chatted up. However, without my hearing aids, it brings different results. Lots of people would talk to me, some more eagerly than others. It’s not a brag but it just shows how much a difference stereotyping can be.

Now, in London, used to people staring at my hearing aids on the tube, I am proud of my deafness and no one is going to make me feel small because of it.


The dating apps were, sometimes, a disappointment. Some endlessly want to exchange hellos, only blocking me upon discovering my deafness.

A chance encounter in a bar may stop in mid flow, their eyes moving sideways to the side of my head. What was a burgeoning conversation was soon stopped as they went to get a drink and never return.

Would you like to know I have my type too? A killer smile to light my day. A tall man to match my six-foot frame to lean against. A wealth of banter to duel with, silliness too. But above all else, a loyal and loving trait that will make me feel content. Even a mutual love for cheesy pop music might just beat that!

You definitely meet some wonders involving hilarious situations with my deafness:

When I was in a loud bar, my date kept leaning into my ear. Unable to hear him, my fall back option of lip-reading wasn’t there as his head was pressed against mine. Pushing him back, I simply tapped on my lips with one finger conveying I needed to see his face. But instead he took it as a cue to kiss me! That’s a win for all!

Could I have given up, only seeing the rest of my year traveling the London Underground twice a day with only music for company in my headphones, making eye contact with those who are mildly inquisitive of my weird headphones on my hearing aids?

No. I know my ‘Mr Ed’ is out there. But will we cross paths? Sure. I know someone is out there to share my life with. One to be teasing me when I mishear anything. One to call me out when I selectively hear that I want a cup of tea, not the washing up. One to be my ears if I miss out anything. And definitely, one to treat me as a person who tells bad dad jokes and a person that loves, not someone with just a disability.

You know guys, I’m totally worth it.

Follow Ed Rex on his adventures here: RexyEdventures Travel Blog