For some people, coming to terms with your sexuality is a gradual process. It creeps up on you and it’s just there, a part of your life.
For others – it’s a sudden realization. Like a lightning strike, your brain immediately realizes ‘Oh sh*t, I’m gay.’
I remember at the age of 12 I spent the whole of a family vacation laying on my sunbed, staring at a guy from across the hotel pool. He must’ve been 16 and beach blond and my puberty hit my hormones harder than an eighty foot fall.
At one point my mom told me I needed to lay on my back to even out my tan. I did it for approximately five minutes before flipping over and so I could get a better look at the guy. Why couldn’t I look away?
The answer struck: ‘Oh shit, I’m gay.’
Whether it’s staring at other guys, reading about gay or bisexual guys, or staring at people on film, we’ve all had those moments. Including the guys of this Reddit thread, who spoke all about when the lightning struck and they realized they were gay.
‘I’m 70 so there weren’t a lot of venues to dip my gay toe into. I do remember beating off to the Charles Atlas ads in the back of magazines. That was the closest I could cum to finding porn in early 60’s.’
‘I was 14 in 1973, and grew up in a conservative christian family, sheltered and a bit naive. I was reading Time magazine and the story about gay liberation finally defined homosexuality and gay to me. I suddenly realized that I was gay, that this explained the feelings I had that I couldn’t express. It was life changing.’
‘Francis on Malcolm in the Middle always made me feel something I could only describe as a mixture of admiration, want, and jealousy. A uniquely gay feeling that I realized wasn’t universal.’
‘This was the same year I hung out in a college men’s locker room and tried to find a spot where I could plausibly sit and play gameboy while also having a view of the showers. That was the first time I though “damn, if I didn’t know any better I’d think I was gay.” Smh.’
‘Funny enough, it wasn’t the 2.5 years of sex with my best friend, but rather the first time I actually spoke out loud about it to another best friend, who asked “does that mean you’re gay😳?” Somehow until that moment he asked me, in middle school, I hadn’t considered it. Denial is real…’
‘Fantasizing about naked Super Mario.’
‘Found and opened my father’s playboy magazine when I was 4. My cousin who was a year older and lived in the front house was with me.
We saw naked women in different poses, even a 2 page spread of women using a double ended dildo. The next page had a naked man laying down on his side and everything was exposed. That was when I knew I was gay, so did my cousin but we didnt tell each other until a decade later.’
‘Sebastian Stan in the covenant, my mother randomly deciding to rent that from Blockbuster changed my life.’
‘Honestly? Gary from pokemon. His cocky attitude did things for me.’