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What happened when I met a guy for a date instead of just a hook-up

What happened when I met a guy for a date instead of just a hook-up

Two men holding hands

I’ve had very few chances in my busy life in 2017 to meet guys. Mostly it was a booty call. But I made room for one date.

He started sending me messages in August. He initiated conversations with a ‘Good Morning!’ or a ‘How are you?’ and it was charming how he kept up with this for a few months even if I would return his messages a few hours or a few days after.

We all need something constant in our lives and for a time his messages were that to me. Something I expected when I opened my inbox that would make me smile and feel wanted.

My presence on Twitter was consistently inconsistent. One day I’m all talkative and then silent after a few days or weeks. I was consumed by work. I am just glad I have an audience that forgives my absence and picks-up conversations like I never left.

At the back of my mind, this guy is probably like the others and will probably end up as one horny hook-up. I generally do not treat Twitter as another Grindr, but I guess with the nature of the account that talks openly about sex and with the audience I have, it is unavoidable to get sex invites.

‘I was telling myself that I think I deserve some romance back in my life’

With him, we didn’t talk about sex. Well, we didn’t talk much. He would always express his desire to meet me in between his usual ‘Take care!’ and ‘Rest well.’ So when he tweeted, ‘December na!’ I felt guilty for being non-committal for a long-time with such a nice guy.

So soon as my schedule permitted, I sent him a message asking about his availability and then quickly made arrangements to meet. I was telling myself that I think I deserve some romance back in my life.

But I also wasn’t sure what his real intentions were. Typical me, I asked, ‘Is this wholesome or a hook-up?’ He said that he wanted to get to know me. Perfect answer, right? So movie date it was.

I don’t ask for face pictures because I don’t share mine. He has wholesome photos of himself but his face is covered with stickers. From what little I saw, I could say this guy is attractive. But you can never tell, right? Ours was a version of a blind date.

A movie date at the mall

So we met one fateful night in December. I arrived early and waited. I didn’t mind because I was nervous and needed time to calm my nerves. It’d been years since I’d done this. Years, in fact. I waited at a stall that sold used books. My comfort zone.

My phone rang. Him. He is here.

I saw him. He was wearing this green shirt. He smiled. I smiled. Sparks were flying.

As we moved closer together, I can feel our smiles widening. When we were finally face to face each other, I don’t remember if he offered a handshake or we just walked side by side. But I remember how close our skin was to each other.

I’m a touchy guy. It’s my love language. So it didn’t take long for us to hold hands. He got the message. And he reciprocated. I think at some point we even hugged. I can’t remember everything: I was intoxicated by his presence, his smell, his voice. All of it.

We decided on a movie. Both options were very wholesome. It took us a while to decide and we were both concerned about what the other really wanted to watch. Honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be beside him. Soon as the movie selection was settled, we were off to dinner.

Have you ever been on a date with a gentleman? Someone who would ensure you were comfortable, who would get the utensils for you at a self-service counter, who splits the bill, who asked you if you needed anything. I got that.

‘I wanted to savor every moment of it’

He sat beside me. Anyone who saw us would quickly conclude that this was a date. Our body language was too obvious. He even initiated to take a photo of both of us. There was a selfie. And that didn’t satisfy him. He asked for a waiter to take our photo. I was over the moon. He likes me!

If you have ever felt like you were kissing too many frogs while hoping that maybe someday one of them will turn out to be a prince, you’d know what I mean when I say that I was at that moment pretty overwhelmed. I wanted to savor every moment of it.

We talked about our background and that side of the Twitter-world where we both met. We also enjoyed some comfortable silence in between where our hands spoke for us.

When it was time for the movie, he asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink. I was full but he still got this tub of popcorn and some drink, just in case.

‘We kissed. Lightly. Lips brushing lips’

At this point you could imagine that the movie, its contents or its merits, are not my primary concern. I really didn’t care what was on. It was all an excuse to be with him. If he were a so-so date, the movie would have saved the day still because it was a good one.

In between this movie, we were feeling each other. It was not groping or below the belt. It was emotional, some physical, and sensual. We kissed. Lightly. Lips brushing lips. Our cheeks slowly and slightly rubbing each other. His face breathing on my neck. It was hot. But it was also sweet. It was coming from a space of deep longing. We aroused each other without going too far.

‘Perfect while it lasted’

Soon as the movie ended, we found our way through the dark maze of the mall at closing time. It was clear to me that we weren’t going straight to the motel. In my history, sex on the first date will not amount to anything after. Any chance at romance will be doomed. So behave.

He was tired. I needed to go back to work. He escorted me to the taxi bay. He opened the door for me and we bid our goodbyes. This time a little tamed. Knowing smiles. We were out on the street and were conscious about other people watching us.

This was how my one date in 2017 ended. Perfect while it lasted, it was a reawakening of my body, of my soul, of my heart. It felt familiar and soon enough memories of ex dates came flooding.

I am glad I allowed myself to take a chance. If only for the experience, it was a series of good moments that allowed me to feel human and much of a man again.

I’ll let that one night, with that one man, stay with me this way. Ordinary from the outside, but magical inside. At least for me.

A version of this article first appeared on Medium. Mister Minchin is a blogger based in the Philippines. Follow him on Twitter: @misterminchin