If I want to walk down the streets in something I feel comfortable in then I will and shouldn’t have people look down on me.
Picture this: a bustling city nightclub in Sunderland or Newcastle, the dancefloor is full of people and the bass is pumping, I’m enjoying a good time and when you see a handsome young man but he won’t give you the time of day.
Maybe it has something to with what I’m wearing. Or how I physically look.
A slender build with narrow wrists and ankles, spiky black hair with a pink streak and multiple piercings and tattoos with chocolate brown eyes make up me.
I will admit my fashion sense is a little offbeat, like a cross between Adam Lambert, Magnus Bane from The Shadowhunters and the Great Gatsby.
Combining leather pants, silk shirts or glittery t shirts with slogans like BLINK IF YOU WANT ME, makeup like eyeliner and black nail polish with chains and belts and leather boots and bracelets makes me feel right at home. I don’t like the notion of normal when it’s more fun to stand out and be yourself.
It’s nothing fancy it’s just what I prefer.
So why do men look down on how I look?
The sad fact is a lot of men seem to prioritize appearance over everything else.
Once when I was out at a bar, a guy said to me: ‘Do you have an eating problem?’
I am really thin. But I said: ‘No, I eat like normal.’
His response was, ‘Well if you have more muscle you could pass yourself off as attractive.’
That really hurt my feelings and got me angry at the same time. If there is one thing I cannot stand it’s people who are arrogant and talk down to others. So I told him to get stuffed then walked away.
Maybe because I don’t fit the whole male Adonis thing. I don’t have much muscle nor do I go to the gym. I’m very comfortable in my own skin and I don’t see why I should have to change myself to suit everybody else.
Or maybe it’s because I dare to be different. More often than not when I’m out on the gay scenes I see guys sporting tans, muscles, suits and expensive looking gear and I’m standing there looking like I’ve raided Adam Lambert’s wardrobe. I’m not ashamed to wear what I want mainly because why should I adapt to what’s classified as ‘normal’.
I mean yes in the past I have struggled with body image and weight because of my skinniness I think who would ever like a pipe cleaner twink like me and it really affected me emotionally. I hate it when people call me a twink.
You often see the stereotype of gay men being fashionistas and shopping for quality clothing so they can heighten their sex appeal. Is image really everything or have we evolved into something that puts physical appearance ahead of intelligence or personality?
If I ever do have a boyfriend I want him to like me for me, leather and all , nd not try to change me into something I’m not like others have before.
So the next time I’m walking down the street in my leather pants, fishnet sweater and all my other things I’m not going to worry about if people are judging me or thinking I’m unattractive.
I’ll be how I want to be and nothing else.
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