Now Reading
Watch: A mother shares how she feels about having two gay sons

Watch: A mother shares how she feels about having two gay sons

gay sons

In most Asian societies and communities, which are usually quite conservative, it’s not often that we find parents who are accepting and open about their kids being gay, bi or transgender.

Parents who are unable to relate to or accept their children’s coming out probably lack sufficient knowledge on the topic of gender and sexuality.

There are also some who might think that being gay, bi or trans is a lifestyle choice, and thus feel the stress of telling the extended family about their children’s ‘way of life.’

In an interview with Dear Straight People, a mother opens up about her story of being a parent to two gay sons.

Khoo Hoon Eng from Singapore is an associate professor at a local university. Khoo shares that both her sons, Ming and En, are gay, and had come out to her separately when they were teens.

Khoo talks about her denial at first when she thought that being gay was just a phase that her children were going through.

She also shares that the most difficult thing for her as a parent is worrying that life will be difficult for her children.

‘I was worried for them, that their lives might be difficult, that they might face lots of challenges beyond the normal ones of getting an education, finding a job… that there might be discrimination against them,’ Khoo says. ‘And just generally… people can be nasty.’

Khoo also talks about how some parents might feel that it’s their fault that their children are gay, bi or transgender, and feel guilty.

‘I guess I was lucky in that… I’m a trained scientist, and so I did not have that kind of misconception,’ Khoo adds.

Khoo advises parents with gay, bi or transgender children to learn more, and to realise that it’s not anyone’s fault.

She encourages communication between parent and children:

‘Talk to your LGBT children to find out what life is like for them too, and what difficulties they are facing.’

Lastly, Khoo thinks that a parent’s happiness should be tied with their children’s happiness.

‘For me, when my children are happy, I am also happy… To parents of LGBT children, my advice would be: please choose love.’

Watch the interview here:

Happy Mothers’ Day!