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Husbands explain why they asked a woman to join their relationship and become a ‘thruple’

Husbands explain why they asked a woman to join their relationship and become a ‘thruple’

New York thruple Matt, Cait and Chris

A New York City-based thruple – sometimes known as a triad – have spoken out on their unusual living arrangements.

In an interview and video for The Sun Matt and Chris Brandt, who have been together since 2008, explain how they met Cait Earnest.

Chris, 38, is bisexual. Matt, 28, now identifies as homoflexible. He and Matt had begun to explore having an open relationship, and Chris came across Cait, 28, on a dating app in 2015.

The two immediately hit if off, leading Chris to ask Matt if Cait could join their relationship. At first, Matt was reluctant but eventually agreed to give it a try.

‘At first Matt was completely opposed to the idea but after a while we talked about it and he warmed up to it,’ says Chris.

Cait, Matt and Chris (Photo: @itscaitlee | Instagram)

Cait, who also identifies as bisexual, began to spend nights with the men in their one-bedroom apartment and, after a few months, was there five nights a week. It made sense for her just to move in. The thruple have been together ever since.

Matt and Cait both admit that they had to negotiate some feelings of jealously and insecurity at first, but are now much more settled.

‘Different strokes for different folks’

The three share the same bed and enjoy sex together.

Cait says, ‘I had never been with two people at the same time before. It’s different strokes for different folks but I would say it’s a pretty fun sex life.’

Matt suggests the relationship has changed his attitude towards sexuality.

‘I prefer men. I guess I had an awakening after I had a sexual experience with a women. It is just another body, another soul, a connection that I can have.’

Chris Brant, Cait Earnest and Matthew Brandt
Photo: Chris.a.brandt | Facebook

Matt and Chris decided to marry in St Lucia in late 2015, but wanted to make sure Cait was involved, and asked her to officiate the ceremony. As far as the future is concerned, they are exploring the idea of having kids, but for the time being, are quite content with their two dogs.

‘My mom seems happy that we can finally have children without having to adopt’

They say their families with them all the best with their relationship.

In an email to GSN, Matt said, ‘Our families are extremely supportive. Everyone knows and are happy that we are happy together.

‘To speak on my behalf, my mom seems happy that we can finally have children without having to adopt… à la female in the equation now. My Dad seemed surprised that we joined forces with Cait but still elated. My Grandpa asks me every phone call if we are “expecting” yet! It seems he is most excited to have grandchildren…’

Asked if anyone had reacted in a negative way, he said, ‘We get many negative reactions along with the positive. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. They are intimidated by our advanced ability to love more than one person and break norms.

‘I get the most crap for being so open about my sexuality. I’m homoflexible, so I like guys – but I’m also comfortable in a sexual situation with women.

‘I’m not afraid of their anatomy like a lot of gay men and many gay men must see me as a threat because they can be hateful to me saying that my relationship or sexual preferences aren’t valid, because they clearly cannot understand it.

‘When you break it down, a body is a body – and I don’t believe it’s so black and white. The entire reason why I am so open with my polyamorous relationship is to promote love, in all of its forms – emotional and sexual.’

H/T: Read more, and watch a video of the thruple, at The Sun

Matt, Cait and Chris (@itcaitlee | Instagram)

See also

Polyamorous people want you to know their relationships are just like yours

Three gay men living together in a three-way relationship explain how it works