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Gay porn director raped me at my casting

Vulnerable trans young YouTuber was violently attacked and raped whilst being filmed

Gay porn director raped me at my casting
kadencepinder | Instagram
The attack was violent and leaves the YouTuber scared of revenge to this day

A vulnerable, young, trans YouTuber has accused a leading porn company owner of rape after a model casting session.

She has shared her story with Gay Star News for the first time. However, we are not naming the owner or company for legal reasons.

Her revelations of the violent attack come as Hollywood, the UK Government and other institutions around the world face up to disturbing allegations of sexual assault.

Warning: this story contains difficult experiences of sexual assault, violence, and rape. Links to support can be found at the end of this article.

Kadence Pinder was barely 18 and very vulnerable at the time of the shoot.

Struggling desperately to work out their gender identity, she looked to porn to ‘validate’ living as a gay man.

Deep down Pinder knew she was trans. She reached out to the owner of a porn site to arrange a casting shoot as a last-ditch attempt to find solace with their body.

What followed was a violent and cruel attack, that was filmed.

Kadence to this day fears her attacker could still post this videoed attack online as a piece of revenge porn.

‘When I saw the cameras I thought  “omg, what the hell am I doing here”’

After meeting online, the porn company owner flew Pinder out from her home in Utah, at his expense. He picked her up at the airport and took her back to his house.

He poured Pinder an alcoholic drink at around 11 pm and sent her to shower to ‘get ready’ for a casting interview. But he told Pinder there would be no nudity or sex at this stage.

‘I went and showered, and when I came out I saw all the cameras were set up, and the lighting and audio equipment. And when I saw that, reality kind of set in.

‘I thought, “omg, what the hell am I doing here”. But I decided to go ahead with it. He said there would be no nudity at this stage and no sex scenes. That would come tomorrow at the model house, with the actual models.’

He offered Pinder a number of drugs, prescription and illegal, but she declined.

She doesn’t use drugs but was also feeling unusually woozy from the two drinks the porn company owner made her.

‘He told me to lie on his bed, and pretty much just act sexy for the camera. Then he was asking me questions on camera and told me what to do.

‘He got me to take off my shirt and then eventually take off my pants – so I was just in my underwear.’

So far, she was consenting. But almost in an instant, the situation horribly escalated – he violently raped her.

Kadence Pinder was raped by a gay porn company ownerKadence Pinder - Instagram

Kadence Pinder shares her difficult story with Gay Star News to empower other rape survivors

‘He literally rammed it inside of me’

Pinder describes the porn company owner as cruel and rough.

He told me to turn around and just like do a sexy pose. So I turned around and that’s when I heard him pull down my underwear and he put his dick inside of me – and then he just started to go to town.’

Pinder realized he was fucking her bareback. She was scared and confused.

‘He literally rammed it inside of me and started going. It was really painful, it hurt really bad. I wasn’t aroused, I wasn’t excited – it was so uncomfortable.’

At one stage he left Pinder unable to breathe and gagging as he forced himself on her. He called her a ‘slut’ and ‘fucking bitch’.

‘He was making grunting noises and acting like in those porn videos with rough sex, or the ones that simulate rape.’

Pinder is clear the owner had said no nudity or sex would be involved in the casting.

And he traded on her naivety in another way – Pinder felt under his control.

I was scared, barely 18, in a different part of the country.

‘I was worried he would kick me out or get violent or physical with me – or you know force me to do it anyway.’

Pinder’s attacker came inside of her while fucking her bareback.

Raped, fat shamed and kicked out

At this stage, Pinder still hadn’t signed any documents agreeing to model for him. And she hadn’t shared the results of the STI test she’d done.

Even by the end of the experience, she still wouldn’t. Pinder wonders if the porn company owner checks any of his models.

After raping him, he told Pinder to look at his computer.

‘He was on his website with all of his other models. And he said, “what do you and all these other models have in common?”

Pinder was confused, answering that perhaps it was they all looked so young.

‘He said, “the difference is you’re fat, and my models are skinny.”

‘Then he told me I’m fat and that I’d sent him misleading pictures so I’d have to find my own way home.’

Pinder had no money but fortunately persuaded the porn company owner to buy her a Greyhound bus ticket home.

Early the next morning he dropped her off at the bus station where she had to wait all day for the bus.

Kadence Pinder was raped by a gay porn company owner

Kadence Pinder has been documenting her transition on YouTube

‘As far as I know, he still has that video’

When she finally did get home, Pinder’s mom was incredibly supportive. She went to get an HIV test, which came back negative. Her mom immediately wanted to hire a lawyer and pursue charges against the attacker. But it was all too soon for Pinder:

‘I refused to do that. I just didn’t want to deal with it at the time. And I was afraid to get my story out there. I just wasn’t ready and I was scared he would post the video without my knowledge.’

To this day, Pinder regularly scours the internet to make sure he hasn’t uploaded it.

‘As far as I know, he still has that video. I asked him if he did and he never replied. I used to check all the time, and I still do every now and then. I definitely don’t want it to go online, especially with what happened and who it was with.’

Why speak out now?

Pinder is now aged 20 and making her name as a YouTuber. She is telling her story now because she believes it will empower other survivors.

She has spoken to other models who also say the same porn company owner raped them.

‘I’ve been holding it in for so long and because I have heard so many other stories about that company and the person who owns it. They’ve all been too afraid to speak out.

‘I feel now’s my time to use my voice for me and all the others with that company. I feel like a lot of people in the porn industry are scared to speak out. Sometimes all it takes is that one person to speak out and there a lot more stories after that.’

To anyone that is considering going to a casting shoot, Pinder has this final piece of advice:

‘I would research the company’s reputation first, speak to the models that work or worked for that company. Then if you decide to go ahead and it doesn’t turn out like you thought – you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them no.

‘It’s your body and no-one owns that but you.’

Looking for support? 

If you want more information about rape, sexual assault or any of the issues in this article you may want to try some of these organizations:

  • Galop – UK LGBT anti-violence charity
  • Survivors UK – UK rape survivors group
  • RAINN – US Sexual Assault resource and advocacy group
  • Stay Brave – Male rape survivors group

Globally we have also compiled a list of LGBTI friendly organizations you may wish to seek help from.

Read more from Gay Star News

Can I report a rape if I was high on drugs at the time?

13 Reasons Why actor Tommy Dorfman reveals he was sexually abused at 14

Why Kevin Spacey’s decision to come out as gay is propaganda

Amazon Studios exec resigns following lesbian producer’s sexual harassment accusations


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