We Three Kings is a classic Christmas carol, telling the story of the Biblical Magi who visited Jesus during his Nativity. But what if they weren’t three kings at all — what if they were drag queens?
‘Girl, I heard this girl named Mary just gave birth and she’s never had sex.’
‘Ugh, she missed out on all the good parts.’
‘Whatever, the first time’s always awkward. But look at the baby shower registry! I got her myrrh.’
That’s precisely what this new and colorful take on the song proposes, and we can’t get enough.
Manila Luzon, Peppermint, and Alaska Thunderfuck star as the three magi bearing gifts of the aforementioned myrrh, gold, and frankincense (re-gifted, naturally).
We three Queens of Orient are;
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.
They sing John Henry Hopkins, Jr.’s 1857 carol perfectly, changing only the pronouns, both for themselves and Jesus.
The song is from Christmas Queens 3, the third iteration of the RuPaul’s Drag Race Christmas album. It’s out now.