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Tired of waiting for ‘the one,’ this man married his imaginary future husband

Tired of waiting for ‘the one,’ this man married his imaginary future husband

After years of waiting in vain, Andrew Chan decided to stop looking for ‘the one’ and start planning his wedding.

The LGBTI community worker promised himself he would get married on his 40th birthday, even if he had not found Mr Right and in spite of Singapore’s anti-gay laws.

‘A wedding is a special and beautiful occasion that marks the romantic union of two people. Many people, especially singles like me dream to experience that,’ he told Gay Star News.

Chan said none of his relationships had lasted more than two months and he was no longer sure that he would find a partner in his lifetime, but remained hopeful.

The No Star Arts Grant supported his belief that everyone has the right to experience a wedding and contributed S$1,000 ($725) towards the banquet.

Chan said the wedding was not intended as an art project but it was fine if others saw it that way.

For him, it was an opportunity to thank his parents, family and friends, and a day to express himself as a gay man, come out publicly and let others know it was OK for LGBTI people to get married.

‘I have waited for “the one” long enough and do not wish to wait any more. I would like to have my wedding on 20 December this year (2014), on my 40th birthday,’ he wrote in the wedding invitations.

‘So, if I am lucky enough to find “him” (and provided that he agrees to marry me), you will then see two bridegrooms walking down the aisle. Otherwise, it will just be me, getting married to my future husband.’

When the day came around, still-single Chan walked down the aisle at one of the oldest restaurants in Chinatown and said his vows to his imaginary future husband.

Chan wore a western suit but the ceremony was Chinese, although he said he was not much for traditional customs, and Peking duck and wine was served to the 50 guests, including his mother, friends and ex-colleagues.

‘Andrew was in his element, handsome and dashing as the man of the hour,’ said a friend who attended the wedding.

‘None of us minded that his other half was only imaginary. Andrew was the envy of the five tables of guests; we admired his zest for life and upbeat hope for the future.

‘Andrew’s celebration of an imaginary wedding instead of being pathetic, showed me the strength of someone who pursues happiness with a passion.’

But not everyone was supportive. Chan said some of his friends and his sisters were a no show and he was afraid the wedding would land him him trouble with the authorities.

‘One weirdo threatened to report me to the police if I didn’t stop the wedding. Thank God nothing happened and the wedding ceremony went well,’ he said.

Since the wedding, Chan said life had returned to normal and he was now trying to build an active LGBTI community in Singapore through the group he founded, MOVE.

‘I tell people that I am married but still single. If I meet that special someone and he is willing to get married to me, I will just get married again – to a real husband,’ he said.

‘It might sound absurd or confused to some but it’s pretty straight forward to me.’