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This young woman believes the Patriarchy is partly to blame for bi-erasure

This young woman believes the Patriarchy is partly to blame for bi-erasure

Bisexual marchers make their mark at San Francisco Pride

This young woman believes the Patriarchy is at least partly to blame for bi-erasure.

In a post on her blog, 21-year old Susan begins by talking about how she came to realize her sexuality.

She recalls ‘feeling awkward over having crushes on girls’ at the age of 10.

Just when she had come to terms with being a lesbian, Susan noticed that she was still interested in men.

She said: ‘By then I had grasped the understanding that being a lesbian was okay and that if that’s what I was I should be proud. The problem was, I am not a lesbian.

‘I love men too. I ventured into a long-term relationship with a man and am still with him today, happily committed. So, what the fuck am I?’

This is when Susan acknowledges her own previous internalized biphobia and bi-erasure.

‘Bisexuality never crossed my mind as a possibility. To be honest, I never thought of it as a legitimate sexual orientation.’ She explains.

‘We are concurrently not gay enough and not straight enough.’

Then Susan moves on to discuss an all too commonly issue for bisexuals.

‘When a man comes out as bisexual he is assumed to just be closeted. It is assumed that he is lying to himself and that he must only be attracted to men and that he should just admit it to himself and the world.

‘But when a bisexual woman comes out, she is only doing it to get attention – to impress men. She just wants to kiss girls in front of guys to turn them on and so that they find her more attractive.

‘Either way, in both situations, all bi people must only like men. Sorry, what?!’

Susan explains how awful this is for bi people: ‘Not only is this alienating to male bisexuals, it also further fetishizes bisexual and gay women.’

Biphobia and bi-erasure happen both outside of an in the LGBTI community. This is another topic Susan touches upon.

‘We have been accused of simultaneously being closeted gay people taking advantage of straight privilege and also attention-seeking heterosexuals taking over queer spaces (gay bars, pride.)

‘We are concurrently not gay enough and not straight enough. Our sexuality is illegitimized and invalidated.’

Find the entire piece on Susan’s blog.